Episode 7: To Be Announced

[80s drum intro]

No, it's not the 1980s again. That was just a beat I programmed into my drum machine.

[drum beat]

Some might say that this show is "not fit for public consumption" or that I'm "not ready for daytime."

Most agree The Michael Christopher Program is "unlistenable."

So, I'm going to try to re-tool it.

Let me try that intro again...


[smooth intro]

Oouhaa...


Eh... No, I don't like that. That's too creepy.

Let me try another one.

[electric guitar intro]

[music is broken by static]


Uh Uh-oh. The mixing board is broken.


Uh, and here comes Hick Character.


Hick Character: Your mixin' board's broke. That needs fixed.

Host: Don't you mean, "needs to be fixed"

Hick Character: It's broken.

Host: Yes, I know, but you said, "needs fixed" it should be "needs to be fixed."

Hick Character: ...you gonna get it fixed?

Host: When Shakespeare said "to be or not to be" he wasn't giving you a choice... uh, forget it.

Just take this mixing board and make it work again.


And now the Weather Report.

There would be a cool jazz intro to this segment, but you know the situation.


Here to give us our Weather Report is Mike Mikeman.


Mike Mikeman: Thanks, Michael. I was just outside.

...and the weather out there is the same as in here, except for it's a little more humid.

Except, humid and... it's a little hotter outside.

Okay, it's the same except for it's humid, hotter...

Oh, and it was windier. Yeah, slightly- slightly windier.


Host: Do you even know what you're doing?

Mike Mikeman: I like to think I do.

Host: Alright, move it along, move it along.


We've reached the point in the show where I normally play a musical interlude.

But, I don't have my mixing board here, so I'll have to do something live.


[acoustic guitar]


What? What's that?

It's fixed? Excellent!

Bring it in. Plug it in.

Good work Hick Character.

Hick Character: You know, my name's Charlie Hicks.

How ironic... Alright, play some music.

[some music]

This has been The Michael Christopher Program.

[outro]



Who wants pimento loaf?