Episode 5: That's Another Story

[intro: Window Tint by The Free Aerophones]

Welcome, everyone, to The Michael Christopher Program.


Host: Hmm, hey who's this were listening to now?

Producer: This is by The Free Aerophones.

Host: The Free Aerophones? Eh, pretty groovy. We should have them on the show.

Producer: Yeah, we can have 'em on the show.

Host: Alright. Work on that.

[something dropping in the background]


Host: Joining us in studio, this week, is a special guest co-host Nathan Christopher.

Guest: I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Um...

Host: H-how do you pronounce your name?

Guest: It's actually pronoun- it's a really common name... Yeah I know, I get that face all the time.

Host: Oh.

Guest: It's- it's Nathan... Christopher.

Host: Oh wow, I'll make a note of that here.

Guest: Hmm.

Host: Um, Nathan Christopher is an expert in the field of ------------.

Guest: That's right. You- you really have to watch out for the tusks.

Host: I imagine.

Guest: Yeah.

Host: He'll be joining us for a later segment to impart some of his knowledge in that area. Thank you for being here in studio with us Nathan.

Guest: Thank you for having me. Oh, I noticed you uh... got an injury there you're sportin'. What's the story behind that?

Host: Um... I broke my podleg and now it's in a podcast.

Guest: Wow, that's terrible. That's absolutely terrible. You should do an entire episode of just bad jokes.

Host: Every episode is an episode of bad jokes.


We now return to our whodunit radio program The Adventures of Snarky Boy Genius Detective from the 50s.

[whodunit radio program theme]

We join the action in Part 3 of Episode 4: The Case of the Missing Pocket Watch.
Our hero is interrogating the final suspect on his whereabouts at the time of the robbery.


Accused Person: [clears throat] We were all sitting around the breakfast table, eating cereal from one of those variety packs with the little boxes of cereal.

Snarky Detective: Can you remember what each person had?

Accused Person: I was eating the Frosted Flakes. Joseph was having the Fruity Pebbles. Susan was-

Snarky Detective: Wait, stop right there. There was only one variety pack?

Accused Person: Yeah Poindexter, there was just the one.

Snarky Detective: Impossible. The first two cereals you mentioned were made by two different cereal manufacturers and therefore could not be in the same variety pack.

Accused Person: Ah, blast you Snarky Detective! You've caught me.

Snarky Detective: Looks like you shoulda had your Wheaties this morning. [laughs nerdily]

[whodunit radio program theme]


[Nathan Christopher performs Wintertime in China]

This is inspired by a book I read.

Sittin' there readin' a book 'bout ravens, trees...

[chords: E, F#, A, B]

The sun was shinin' but it was so cold out.

It was wintertime by then.

Wintertime in China.

Boy, was it cold.

Don't know about insulation it seems... or heating properly.

Boy, it felt like my testicles were gonna fall off.

But that's another story.

The leaves of an ancient tree are falling.

They make the sound of a raven's flight.

They make the sound of footfalls on the cusp of frost.

And it makes me think of how cold it really is...

[clapping]

Wintertime in China.

Boy, it's cold out.

Wintertime in China.

And I'm freezing; my toes are falling off... from frostbite.

One time I tried to put on three pairs of socks.

Count 'em.

1-2-3 whole pairs o' socks.

But ya see...

Two of 'em were really thin at the time and...

One of 'em had a bunch of holes so really it didn't help very much.

It just made the whole thing- I mean 'cause they wouldn't even fit in my shoes.

And if ya can't fit your shoes on then... what's the point of insulating?

But I digress.


[applause]


I like it.